It has been one heck of a poopy news week in Potts-town.  Here’s a re-cap:

Public barred from joint Pottstown, Pottsgrove sewer meeting

Borough Manager, Mark Flanders told a reporter “adios amigo”, (in so many words), when he showed up on behalf of taxpayers Tuesday morning, to cover the Borough Authority meeting with neighboring townships – to discuss the “townships’ unhappiness with the way they must pay for their share of costs at the Pottstown Wastewater Treatment Plant.”

In other words, the neighbors came to Pottstown to let the borough know that they are not putting up with their crap any more, while homeowners are sick and tired of smelling their crap, co-mingling with their own crap – and other residents are plum sick and tired of stepping in crap >>>> dog crap.

By mutual agreement, the borough takes a lot of crap from neighboring municipalities but that’s their choice, just ask residents who live upwind from the treatment plant, on the near East side of town.  

There was tension in the air on Tuesday morning as the suits gathered around the table to make it clear that they didn’t want to air their crap in public.  

On the other hand, there are certain people in the borough that crap publically, in the streets and alleys downtown, leading to the conclusion that….

SOME people like to make their crap public, (between parked cars, behind bushes, garbage cans, unoccupied storefronts on High St. or anywhere the sprit moves them). It’s become a borough tradition, just like slinging crap up at borough hall behind closed doors is a time-honored tradition too.

That’s what separates local government from every day people on the streets.  While the first is renowned for hiding their crap from the public, the second has no problem proudly putting their crap and their dogs’ crap on display.  Does this seem backwards to you?

Today, in his blog Digital Notebook, Evan Brandt writes:  

A new neighbor, Stanley Thomas, who recently moved to the area near King and Washington Streets, was at council on April 8th, to complain about dog crap.  ”There are dog droppings <he’s so polite> all over the place,” he said…

“Nobody is picking up after their dogs, it’s disgusting.”   THANK YOU STANLEY.   Couldn’t have said it better.  Wonder if Stanley knows he’ll get to say it over and over and over again, for the next few years, while the crap piles up inside and outside of Borough Hall?

“That is a real problem,” agreed Borough Council President Stephen Toroney.  And, we agree with the Council Prez.  

Tiny Tim got a buzz outta tiptoeing through the tulips in the spring…

OK, thanks…

In Potts-town, we are bummed by having to tiptoe through the dog crap every spring, hot, stinky crap all summer long, autumn crap and, winters frozen crap too.  Every season is dog crap season in Potts-town.   

BUT,  who’s gonna tell the owners’ of the big rottweilers and pit bulls to stop and pick up their dog crap?  You can bet it won’t be me…I’m not that brave, (contrary to the opinions of some town folk), and neither should it be YOU.  Take every precaution to stay safe.

Rest assured peeps, councilwoman Carol Kulp 2nd ward, is pretty sure there’s an ordinance on the books so, all you need to do is print out this ordinance and very politely hand it to the next badass with a dog that you run into on the streets. 

“Councilwoman Carol Kulp suggested that perhaps signs be put up to remind residents that there is an ordinance against allowing their dogs to crap in the street and on the sidewalk.”  

Yeah Carol – right beneath those intimidating Neighborhood Watch signs that have the drug dealers and other wanna-be crooks scurrying back to the streets of Philly and Reading for fear of being caught in Pottstown.    I can see it now…

“NO, Rambo STOP – you gotta hold it ’til I make this drug deal, wassupwityou anyway – can’t you read?  The sign say:

 ”This is a Canine Crap Watch Neighborhood.  We Call 911.”  

Besides, Council Prez, Toroney says that a dog has to be caught taking a crap, in order to enforce the ordinance that’s on the books. That means that the dogs’ owner would be caught with their pants down while their dog’s taking a crap, right? …

Brrrring Bringgg, “Dispatch, what the nature of your emergency”?

“Dog!!  It’s … it’s a dog pooping… I think it’s a rottweiler, just took a mammoth crap at the corner of Washington and King Sts. send an officer now, tell ‘em I’ll testify.”

Dispatch:  ”What’s your name, address, date of birth?  Did you say a mammoth crap?  OK, We’ll send  a couple of officers out, they’re on their way.”

Rewriting the ordinance doesn’t seem like a good idea, (they aren’t enforced anyway), re-write it to reflect what?  How could it be enforced even if someone wanted to?   Better that the borough should put out the foot and bike patrols, (for many reasons), then they can stop a dog owner on the street, check for their dog license and “shoot the s**t” with ‘em about dog crap.  They can even make ‘em clean it up…  

The borough can also buy a STREET CLEANER then they can rustle up some of the abundant, court-ordered, volunteer labor that the Judges make abundantly available.  The borough can develop a PLAN and A PROCESS, (that’s no crap, plans and processes work).  Then, they can effectively curb this poop problem – PROACTIVELY, on the front end, because by the time it’s coming out the back-end, it’s too late.  

And now… 

A brief message from former councilman, Jody Rhoads, on FB yesterday:  A call to action for residents:

Anyone, especially in Pottstown’s East End, who is starting to get that fragrance from the sewer plant, call the plant at 610-970-6540. Give the operator your name and address and have him document the date and time and also you do the same. Tell him to pass this info on to the Super. I was just told that an outside tanker had just unloaded. This needs to be done every time the smell hits. It’s not even summer and we’re already off to a bad start. A nice evening and we must close up the house.  

The Cockroach says:  Keep a personal log of the calls you make because we will proudly make your logs public –  if you get no relief from your dogged determination to communicate your discomfort to the people who can actually DO-DO something about it.

You see, we may have to step over the dog crap and put up with 2 legged critter crap and urine on our streets and, we may have to put up with the secretive crap from the borough for a while longer, (although not quietly), but we think you shouldn’t have to run inside and close all the windows on nice breezy days so you don’t have to SMELL THE CRAP too, while you suffer in silence.  

Just short of renting a fleet of giant fans to blow the captivating aroma of Eau de Sewer back to Borough Hall, we’ll help you send your message, then, let the crap lay where it falls.

That’s all for today’s re-crap of the weeks’ news in Potts-town.  Have a nice weekend Peeps. Don’t forget your rubber rain boots when you go for a walk about town…

on second thought, take the hip boots.  The crap is pretty deep in Potts-town.